Canadian Copywriter/Conrad Black Black/<b><i>Canadian Copywriter</b></i>
When the Canadian Copywriter staff learned that Mr. Peter Abalone, one of our staff writers, was writing an article which defended Mr. Conrad Black, they took Mr. Abalone out, behind Ole' Doc Moody's barn and accidentally shot him in the head seventeen times. As the editor, I was able to retrieve Mr. Abalone's essay, but before I could finish it, I happened to mistakenly place a chili-cheese dog, on the essay during a luncheon meeting, and the whole "enchilada", so to speak, was subsequently eaten by "Ruffles", our family dog. On behalf of the Canadian Copywriter staff and Ruffles (who is actually the real villian here and hasn't really quite fully understood his transgressions -- although, I must say, I took great pains to explain the whole situation to him -- and is now spending some "quiet time" in our backyard doghouse to "ponder" the situation), I would like to extend my deepest and sincerest apologies to Mr. Black and also convey our deepest sympathies to Mr. Abalone's family. However, we do believe that, even in light of these tragic circumstances, the Canadian Public has been well served. This unfortunate and, I must say, somewhat trying episode -- which included a fairly lengthy investigation by the authorities (thankfully, the authorities concluded that the shooting was entirely an unfortunate accident), is behind us now and our staff is back at their posts working tirelessly on your behalf. If you require further clarification on the Conrad Black issue, go to:
-- Ed